Sunday, July 26, 2009

I Like It Rough

This is a post about wiping my ass.

I must be the only person in the world who doesn't like soft toilet paper. I like it thin and tough with lots of paper on the roll. For over ten years Big Roll toilet paper was my favorite brand. It met all my requirements and it was cheap too. It was a Walgreens brand and I would shop at Walgreens for toilet paper and nothing else. I would go out of my way to buy their stuff.

Bastard companies often cheap out on their products to sell you less of something at the same price, rather than selling you the same amount for a higher price, hoping you won't notice. I didn't gripe too much when they took a roll that was 4.5 inches wide and quietly made it 4.05 inches wide. I did notice what you did though, bastard Walgreens, don't think I didn't. But now they've gone soft and I'm through with Walgreens and Big Roll. For now I'm buying something I like even less than the new Big Roll because I'm pissed at them. I won't even tag this post because I don't want to give them any more attention than I've already given them.

I will find the right toilet paper for me. I might have to buy industrial stuff that's used in public bathrooms by the case. So be it. Think of me the next time you wipe. If you've read this far, I know you will.

This is the kind of thing that gets me blogging again.

1 comment:

Diane said...

There's a great TP brand here in Germany (recycled paper so mostly rough - I'm sure you'd like it): Happy End. The first time I saw it I nearly died laughing, there all by myself in the TP aisle of a local supermarket.