Sunday, August 26, 2007

An Open Letter To Both Of My Fans

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AN OPEN LETTER TO BOTH OF MY FANS I know what you're thinking: "He's missed three of the last seven days! What the fuck?"...
Friday, August 24, 2007

Today's Special

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TODAY’S SPECIAL by Matthew Sanborn Smith Bert just figured the waiter had a southern accent. He didn’t think anything of it when he ordered...
Wednesday, August 22, 2007

THE I’M SO DESPERATE NOT TO MISS A DAY, I’LL POST ANY PIECE OF SHIT STORY

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THE I’M SO DESPERATE NOT TO MISS A DAY, I’LL POST ANY PIECE OF SHIT STORY by Matthew Sanborn Smith “I have more sex appeal in my little fing...
Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Stu Early

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(Author's Note: This one goes out to Art) STU EARLY by Matthew Sanborn Smith Stu liked to get up early, get a jump on the day. The more...
Monday, August 20, 2007

Eat Me

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EAT ME by Matthew Sanborn Smith Dirk’s esteem was at an all time low. When cannibals started moving into the neighborhood, he made a showy ...
Sunday, August 19, 2007

No Gangbangs In Heaven

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NO GANGBANGS IN HEAVEN by Matthew Sanborn Smith Life sucked, yeah. But Claire had death to look forward to. Death was going to rock. Afte...
3 comments:
Saturday, August 18, 2007

Squeezing One Out

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SQUEEZING ONE OUT By Matthew Sanborn Smith You had to figure it’d be a New Yorker that came up with the idea. Joey didn’t have time for his...
1 comment:
Friday, August 17, 2007

Like It?

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Like It? Hey, everybody, I appreciate you stopping by and hope you enjoy at least some of what you see here. Of course, everything here is ...

The Stupidity of Washing Fish

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THE STUPIDITY OF WASHING FISH By Matthew Sanborn Smith As a lad, I knew a man who washed fish in the market. My friends and I laughed at hi...
Thursday, August 16, 2007

Me And My Big Head

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ME AND MY BIG HEAD by Matthew Sanborn Smith My head was throbbing, like my brain wanted to squirt out of my eyeholes. Sorry about the graph...
Wednesday, August 15, 2007

The Philosophers' Summit

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THE PHILOSOPHERS’ SUMMIT by Matthew Sanborn Smith After the second night we hit the bar. Not at the hotel. They’d all be talking shop over t...
Tuesday, August 14, 2007

A Day Late

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A DAY LATE By Matthew Sanborn Smith He realized that he’d made the wrong decision not at the end of his life on Proxima Centauri’s first col...
Monday, August 13, 2007

Sane Cow Disease

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SANE COW DISEASE By Matthew Sanborn Smith Those agricultural wanks finally found a cure for mad cow disease. They created a new type of top...
Sunday, August 12, 2007

Breadburger

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BREADBURGER By Matthew Sanborn Smith It all started when Lenny ordered a fish sandwich. “This sandwich tastes too fishy,” Lenny complained....