Gettin' Cocked At The Bookstore!

I had to bounce a drunk yesterday. Not something that happens everyday at a bookstore. This guy spilled a bottle all over the floor in our cafe and it was red wine. One of our cafe ladies cleaned it up. One of my boss ladies points the guy out to me, day-glo green shirt and big sunglasses. She's a softie, so I guess that's why she didn't throw him out. Later another employee tells me someone left a trail of puke on the way to the bathroom. Gee, I wonder who that could be? I mop up purple, wine-smelling vomit from the tiles and the carpet and this woman comes up to me complaining that this drunk guy pulled up a chair in the cafe and started hanging with her son (the kid looked to be about fifteen). I explained that I was cleaning up his vomit right in front of her and if the guy was still in the store I was going to toss him. I go into the bathroom and the guy has his sunglasses off. He looks totally fried.

I said, "Hey, man, you gotta hit the road. Customers are complaining about you and we're having to clean up after you. It's time to head out the door."

He said, "Am I that bad?"

I said, "Yeah."

I followed him to the exit and he said, "Sorry." Then I went back to the men's room to clean more purple vomit off of the floor and urinal.

Who's up for a glamorous career in retail?