All The Reasons I've Been Down

I must admit I've been depressed since I realized the surgery may not have worked. If I see the doctor when my stitches are taken out, I'll share my concerns. Otherwise, I'll see him at the scheduled post-op visit next week.

I've also been down because I read a bit of a downer of a graphic novel, "Ultimates 2, Vol. 1," which is a great story, but reinforces many of my feelings of freedoms being restricted and this sort of new rat race we've created in which we're all struggling to be seen in the new economy.

Then there's the news. I haven't watched the news in years and I recently got off of Facebook and Twitter in part to avoid all the downer news, but I'm still getting information through my blog feeds. Here's the thing. On the one hand, the bad things we see are really happening and people are suffering greatly every day. On the other, we only hear about the bad things. It is the job of a news agency to get us to look at their stuff, and they will do whatever it takes to do that, especially scare the shit out of us.

I don't think you're a bad person if you avoid the suffering, because the Suffer Showcase is way skewed against reality. There are also plenty of wonderful things happening, people making love, people helping each other, people learning exciting things. News shows and blogs save that shit for the last thirty seconds or the sidebar, down near the bottom ("Look, there's a squirrel waterskiing!"), either to keep their viewers from killing themselves or to suggest some insane concept of balance. Fuck those newsies.

The other thing I was down about (Jesus, there's more?) is my lack of desire to write yesterday. I did finish a Mango script and doodled on another, but that's it. I had expected to get lots more done.

Having said all that, there were some good things yesterday and I'm feeling better today. I made it through the rain like Barry Manilow.