Hold Those Horses

I just realized that to those of you unfamiliar with the magazine Fantasy and Science Fiction, you may have a different idea about what type of competition I won. I didn't have a story published, it was more of a quip. For competition #77 we had to translate the title of a famous science fiction story into another language and then write a synopsis of that story based on what the new title looked like in English. "Huh?" you ask. Well, as examples, I present the five entries I sent in that didn't win:

Jefty is Five = Jefty è cinque (Italian)
A boy whose best friend is a sink, grows into adulthood and realizes that his best friend is still a sink.

Rendezvous with Rama = Afspraken met Rama (Dutch)
Afspraken, an Amsterdam talk show host, meets a thirty mile extraterrestrial spaceship on a cross-country trip. Afspraken insists they can never be friends because sex always gets in the way. Eventually they have sex and get married because, hey, it's Amsterdam.

Red Mars = Mars Rouge (French)
A cosmetics company sends a group of colonists to the red planet to gather chemicals for their new line. A splinter group goes underground to develop make-up tips based on Martian colors and lighting, decrying all Earth tones.

Anthem = Hymne (German)
Harmony 9-0210, a down-trodden singer in a monotone collectivist state, discovers a hymnal in a forgotten church basement and organizes a Baptist Choir which overthrows the tyrannical government with inspirational songs.

The Demolished Man = El Hombre Demolido (Spanish)
A telepathic sheriff on the trail of a gunslinger with a fistful of dynamite tries to learn the stranger's name. But the outlaw's mind is impenetrable as it endlessly plays the theme from The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.

So that's what it's about. For my efforts I won a copy of the issue in which my entry ran and a hardcover copy of Project Moonbase and Others by Robert A. Heinlein. Again, if you want to see the winning entry, I encourage you all, NO, I encourage each of you to go out and purchase a copy of the April/May issue of Fantasy and Science Fiction. To sweeten it up, there are plenty of other great things in there besides me. This is their first big fat bimonthly issue and it features stuff by Ellen Kushner, Paul Di Filippo, Thomas M. Disch, Jack Skillingstead and John C. Wright. Check it out!

F&SF And The Sofa

I won the Fantasy and Science Fiction Competition for the second time in a row! Go buy a copy of their April/May issue if you'd like to read the winning entry. And subscribe if you can. If we don't support the mags we love, they'll go away and then we'll be sad. Let's be happy instead.

I added links to the blog for the Fiction Crawlers. You can find them over on the left sidebar under the heading "Read (or listen to) My Stuff," formerly known as "Read My Stories."

And speaking of the Sofa, let's jump on and make the springs go *twangy!*

The StarShipSofa is proud to present Aural Delights No. 64. Blast off!

Aural Delights No 64 Ted Kosmatka

Editorial: The Good and the Bad by Tony C Smith

Poetry: Her Opals by Samantha Henderson

Flash Fiction: Where Credit Is Due by Edward M Lerner

Fact: Science News by JJ Campanella

Main Fiction: The Art of Alchemy by Ted Kosmatka

Fact: Kim Stanley Robinson by English Assassin

Narrators: David Lamb, Annette Bowman, Dale Manley

Did I Say War?

I take my lumps like a man. Two weeks ago I said I was going to kick Process Five's ass. That hasn't actually happened. Not even a little bit. I haven't given up, but that deadline will soon disappear in the rearview mirror. I was so full of fire, too! Feel free to harass me.

Did I mention I won Fantasy and Science Fiction's Competition #76? I don't think I did. Check out their October/November issue to see my entry. I just sent in six entries for Competition #77. You should too.

I sent Fiction Crawler 2 to Tony at StarShipSofa the other day, hopefully that will be on Wednesday's show, but we never know the future until it happens.

That's all for now, folks. Beddy-bye, as it's up for work in about four hours and some change. I wish you all a wonderful Monday.

Clem Crowder's Catch

If you guys have a little time on your hands I urge you to read Clem Crowder's Catch. It's up for just this month at Fantasy and Science Fiction's website. I read it five years ago when it first appeared in the print version of the magazine and let me tell you folks, it will easily stay with you for five years and probably beyond. It's funny, fucked up, and wonderfully disgusting. Please check it out:

http://www.sfsite.com/fsf/fiction/reprint01.htm

A Good Day

It was a good day. I finally had the house to myself and I got some good work done on "Roothi." Sent out a story to Fantasy and Science Fiction. Really discovered Maria Mena, great stuff, great soft autumn music. I was on top this afternoon. For the first time I could remember, my body was quiet. Not too full, not too hungry, not too tired, not too hyper, I went to the post office resting back against the driver’s seat, windows open in the perfect day.

If I was hungry for anything, it was something different to read, something nourishing and well-written. I’ve decided to read what I want to read, rather than what I feel I should read and to give a work a few pages of my time and if it doesn’t earn anything more than that, toss it aside and move onto something better. I wanted some good character-driven mainstream fiction. You need to read the crazy stuff to feed your imagination and do something that approaches originality, but you’re not going to transcend the field without looking beyond it. I want to help bring science fiction into the realm of great writing. Many people have already done great work in that area, but as a genre it still has a ways to go. At least in this country.

So I picked up a number of things and read "Breakfast at Tiffany’s" today. I haven’t seen the film, but I’m betting it’s a bit different. I’ll compare notes with my movie-gluttonous wife tomorrow.

I’m hoping to have another go with "Roothi" tomorrow and maybe get her out the door by the weekend, but you never know. I won’t send something if I don’t think it’s ready. Of course, I’m off track for the one-thousand but it’s way too early in the race to sweat. Things are getting better every day.