I Am Not Originally From Kansas

I just saw Dad. He looks much better than he did a few days ago. The Hospital People have been giving him sleeping pills at night and a nurse and my sister have been forcing food down his throat. Food and sleep go a long way toward curing what ails you.

Now, to clear the air, I want everyone to know that I am NOT originally from Kansas. I am not even unoriginally from Kansas. I have not been to Kansas to have gone somewhere else so that I might say, "I just came from Kansas." Not now, not ever.

I have never passed through Kansas on my way to somewhere else. It might take me a moment to find Kansas on a map, EVEN if the word Kansas were printed on it, EVEN if it was a map of only Kansas and nowhere else. In my decades of working with the public, I do not recall ever having met someone who told me they were from Kansas. Nor do I recall ever having watched a sporting event featuring Kansan participation. The only people I've ever seen from Kansas were played by actors who were not from Kansas. No one that I have ever met, heard from, encountered or read about, has ever accused me of originally being from Kansas.

NO
NO KANSAS NO
NO

Any questions?