Review on StarShipSofa

Hey, everyone, take a gander at the review I wrote about John Scalzi's The Android's Dream at StarShipSofa: http://www.starshipsofa.com/The-Androids-Dream-by-John-Scalzi

And when you've read that, click on the sofa's homepage, scroll down a little and download and listen to Spider Robinson's fun fun fun story Distraction, a big hit on the forums and with good reason.

Thank You For Not Hitting Me With A Bus

I made it! Loyal readers of The One-Thousand may recall that one year ago I wrote a fearful post on the occasion of my Thirty-Eighth birthday, begging one and all not to hit me with a bus. When I was a teenager my friends and I had a weird running joke that I would die at Thirty-Eight years of age. And the cause of death? Being hit by a bus. I don't believe in the supernatural, but I do believe in the freaky power of the human mind and I was always concerned that my Id might get a kick out of throwing itself and the rest of me in front of a bus just for the thrill of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Well, here's to you Super-Ego, for keeping that bastard Id in check once more. Now that I'm past that hurdle, I'll never have to worry about dying again!

Oh, yeah, and Happy Birthday to me.

Hoodwinked

When Hoodwinked came out in the theaters, I wanted nothing to do with it, though the other family members went to see it and enjoyed it. I generally hate kids movies and the ads just looked like they were playing against stereotypes in the most worn way, particularly in the character of Granny who was into extreme sports. But as we did some early birthday things for me and worked on the wife's homework over at her house today, they popped Hoodwinked on and I had more than a few good laughs. Save for my original issues with the movie, it was really well written, funny and had a clever interweaving storyline. And Patrick Warburton did the voice of the wolf. I don't care that he's done a hundred animated characters and they all sound the same. He's got one of the greatest voices ever. I could listen to him all day. Good music too. If you haven't seen this movie, take a look. You might even let the kids join you.

Jonathan Coulton

I've heard some of Jonathan Coulton's music on the Escape Pod podcast over the past however long and he's finally reached critical mass in my mind so today I had to look into him and pass him on to you. Jonathan Coulton writes some fun and funny and incredibly geeky songs. Finally a mad scientist song in the shape of Skullcrusher Mountain! How long have we needed that? My favorite so far is Chiron Beta Prime, a Christmas song (obviously), with Code Monkey a close second. The First of May is coming up. All of you young lovers should give it a listen. On top of everything else, his music is good. Check out a great selection of his songs here: http://www.jonathancoulton.com/primer/listen.

Another One Under My Widening Belt

I finished and sent out story number 66, Conservation of Energy.

Shower County

SHOWER COUNTY
By Matthew Sanborn Smith

It never rained out here anymore. Crops died, cattle followed. There were no clouds to seed and a rainmaker had run off with a nice chunk of the county’s change, though we kept the one ear that we tore off of him before he escaped. The ear didn’t attract any rain either.

Bob Miller’s son ran an engineering firm in Arizona and those folks had come up with one heck of an idea out there. The county commissioners flew out for a day to see how it worked and they liked it so much they sold it to the rest of us on pure excitement. The project was one year in the making and that was a tough year, but Bob’s boy sold us water on the cheap until we could get on our feet. When it was all done, we had ourselves a showerhead in the sky, thirty miles in diameter.

There was a big faucet-turning ceremony and everybody came out, all the kids, both pastors and the Grindlers even brought one of their cows. It was a good thing we were all there, because a faucet that size needed every available back to turn it. And then we had rain. For the first time in nearly two years we had a downpour to heal our dry, cracked earth. A couple crazies stripped off their clothes. They’d brought bars of soap with them and lathered up right there in front of everyone. Luckily, the sheriff was there too.

A land that dry won’t soak up the water that quick and to be honest, we were so happy to see rain that not a one of us wanted to be the one that said stop. Wasn’t long before we had another problem on our hands. Bob got on the phone.

His son said it was no problem. They’d run into the same thing in Arizona. His contractor rolled back into town a few days later. While we waited, they hauled out as much water as their tankers could carry. In a few months we had a nice big water drain, half as big as the showerhead and placed strategically in the lowlands.

It all seems like a happy story all wrapped up, but there’s things that most people, going about their daily lives, don’t consider. Like who’s going to clean out that drain? Sad to say, that job’s mine. Gives me the shivers every time I go down there. Where those giant hairs come from, I don’t want to know.

Thank You, Mysterious Stranger

Thank you to Anonymous, who pointed out that the link for my story, Better Than Anything, was effed up. Fixed it. I got a mention on SFSignal last night which is always swell. If you're coming here blind, may I recommend my story, Fluff and Buttons on the Teddy Bear Range? It's one of my favorites. Hit its clicky over to the left under Read My Stories. Enjoy!

Ooooo, Pretty!

I did a bit of renovation on this old dump, as you can see. I also added links to my published stories over to your left (and down). Most of them are freebies, but there are a couple in mags that have to be purchased if you so choose. Next to the titles are the mags in which the stories were published.

Phatterism

I just found this guy's personal website through Stumble Upon and I have to point you all that way. Luis Santi Jr.'s site is Phatterism: http://www.phatterism.com/

It's a cool set-up he's running over there and a fun blog. You'll just have to see it for yourselves.

My Woman Done Left Me

My wife, daughter and my daughter's dog are now living in another house, leaving me, my son and my son's dog in this one. No divorce, no separation, just one family living in two different houses.

Today was a good day. Still on hernia leave, I spent the day at my wife's place, waiting for the DirecTV guy while she was at work. I had many hours away from the enormously distracting internet and away from my needy dogs. I had hours to write and came up with one shade of an idea, one piece of flash-fiction and one two-thousand word story. It’s amazing what you can do when there’s nothing else to do. I really need to get away from reality more often. So, anyway stories sixty-four (The Ones That Got Away) and sixty-five (Dust Dog) are in the bag, though they haven’t yet been sent out. But will be by this time tomorrow.

(Friday)

I didn't finish a story today (Friday). Everyone was home because of Good Friday. I did start a story, however. It's called, One-Man Submarine, Blessed by Loki. I think the title pretty much says it all. Crazy days on the way. There will be more story starts, I believe, before there are story finishes.

Comic Book Villains

I saw the film Comic Book Villains yesterday. I thought it was going to be a fun little story about rival comic shop owners screwing each other in pursuit of their goals. Instead, it was a four-color Fargo. It was good, however, to see Cary Elwes as I'm a fan of both The Princess Bride and the video game, The Bard's Tale for which he voiced the bard.

I just sent out number 63, The Plastic People.

Clarke And 62 And Noodles

Arthur C. Clarke died yesterday. He was a great man and a great writer, the only golden age science fiction writer whose work from the thirties and forties still holds up today. We need more people like him in the world.

Story 62 is off to the races. It's called Salting the Earth Around Me.

I've made big improvements since my hernia operation two weeks ago today. I can tell because I'm back on my normal diet of Ramen noodles and Mountain Dew. I usually drain off the broth and just eat the noodles after they’ve cooled a bit, but now I’m thinking of boiling my Ramen noodles in Mountain Dew. Save a step, you see?. The chicken flavoring might not go down well with that, but I could leave that out. I might leave the broth in as well, in that case.

Number 61 Is Done

Number 61 of The One-Thousand is complete and on its way to an editor. It's called, A Spork in the Road. It was almost a poem, until I discovered that not only are there less magazines that buy science fiction poetry as opposed to stories, they don't pay as well, either.

One of the things I love about flash fiction is that you can create something that didn't even exist as an idea mere hours before. Let's see what tomorrow brings.