Sunday, July 20, 2014

Fiction Crawler 15

I did my first Fiction Crawler in ten months on last week's StarShipSofa. Go listen and then stick around for some great fiction by Rachel Swirsky and Suzanne Palmer! The Palmer story is narrated by the lush-voiced Ibba Armancas. If you haven't heard before, you're in for a treat.

Here are the stories I'm covering (links are on the Sofa's site):

Feature Development for Social Networking by Benjamin Rosenbaum

Tornado’s Siren by Brooke Bolander

The Oregon Trail Diary of Willa Porter by Andy Marino

A Debt Repaid by Marina J. Lostetter

Bloodchild by Octavia E. Butler

The Curandero and the Swede by Daniel Abraham.


The Boy just learned about Batman villain, Man-Bat. He thought it was a stupid idea and suggested a Superman villain called Man-Super. I said maybe he's a super-powered janitor. The Boy said:

"Man-Super, I asked you to turn the water on six times!"

"Never! Mwah-ha-ha-ha!"

Sunday, July 06, 2014


If you like wonderfully surreal, pornographic, medieval-fantasy-trope-filled webcomics, why aren't you reading Oglaf already? As a sample, I offer this, something that fans of Beware the Hairy Mango might assume I'd like: Be sure to always roll over any given strip for an extra gag.

Lots of the strips are one-shots, but there are some multi-strip stories. You don't always realize that when you're reading them and therefore sometimes wonder what the hell a certain ending was supposed to mean. But you'll get over it. There are lots of returning characters and over time you get the larger picture of the awesome, impossible world in which Oglaf is set. There was one long storyline about the Funsnake with a rather mind-blowing climax. My advice is to go to the archives and start from the beginning of the strip.

It's very adult, very porny, and not everyone's cup of tea, but if my words haven't put you off, give it a look. If you like it, you'll have hours of comics to enjoy. This one is one of my favorites. It seems to be a more poorly drawn, more insane than usual filler, but the insane part is why I love it:

Have fun!

Friday, July 04, 2014

The Idea Generator #1 - The Junk Dealer

Hey! My daughter, Ivory, and I are starting a new video series called The Idea Generator. It's all about how to come up with new ideas. Take a look at episode number one - The Junk Dealer!

The Story Behind Three Kingdoms

Happy Independence Day, Americans!

My story, Three Kingdoms was just published at Kaleidotrope. It's number 95 of The One-Thousand. Go read it here: and then come back and read what went into the making of the story after the jump.


Sunday, June 15, 2014


Just wrote and sent out a piece of flash fiction which is officially number 150 of The One-Thousand!

Friday, June 06, 2014

Some Good Health News

As you may have read in the post before this one, I had a little health scare over the weekend. A big scare to me, actually, as I thought I might be having a heart attack. But between the tests at the hospital and the stress test I did yesterday afternoon, the doctors determined that my heart and arteries are healthy (healthier than I would have guessed, given my eating habits). The only issue is blood pressure. I've already started eating better to lose weight and I'll make exercise a regular thing.

The medicine I was given on Sunday is an ACE inhibitor and, apparently, a small percentage of people get a persistent cough when using ACE inhibitors. I'm part of that percentage. The cough was bad enough that it ruined my sleep for a couple of days. Today I'm on new meds. Thought I'd get a better night of sleep tonight (The cough hangs on, but is a little less severe), but I ended up volunteering for a late night at work, because the carpets were being cleaned and I had stuff I could do. It ran a couple of hours later than I expected. Ah, well. If I'm lucky, I'll squeeze in six hours before the next shift.

With the medical stuff and the lack of sleep, not a lot of creative work got done this week. I hope to have things back to normal by Sunday at the latest.

Sunday, June 01, 2014

Brief Hospital Visit

I was feeling super funky a few hours ago and asked The Boy to call 911. Turns out my blood pressure was higher than I've ever seen it. The paramedics brought it down quickly, but I'm stuck in the hospital at least for the night while they make sure my heart's fine. So far it seems fine.

After my last blood pressure problem, I got healthy. When the doctor told me everything was looking good, I slacked off and here I am again four years later. Anyway, everything's cool right now. Hospital has wi-fi. I'm just lying here hoping I don't have to stay too long.

Sunday, May 18, 2014

The Lessons Of Compressed Mango

Here's the lesson that MuchoMangoMayo tries to teach me every single year: Get the goddamned shows done before May!

Not only have I refused to learn that lesson, but this year I was less prepared than ever! There was the additional work brought about by the new subscription feed, Beware the Elitist Mango; there was my burst of short story frenzy at the beginning of the year; and there was my move across town in March.

MuchoMangoMayo is thirty-one shows in thirty-one days and each five minute show is fully scripted. It can take three and a half hours to write, record, edit, upload,and schedule one show. The farthest ahead of the conveyor belt I've been this year is maybe three episodes. Many days I'm doing the episode hours or minutes before it goes up.

This happens every year, but this time it's been happening since almost the beginning of the month, even though I took a week off from the day job and worked on Mangoes five hours a day. I was nine minutes late with one show early on, but I otherwise have ridden the wave, and continue to ride it. My goal for today, after some sleep, is to finish four scripts and produce one show. We'll see how that goes.

But all that is just set-up for the point of this post: the lessons this year's MuchoMangoMayo has taught me.

1) I can work harder than I thought I could. Working five hours or more a day on my days off and two to three hours a day around my day job has taught me that I can work harder than I thought I could. One of the reasons I've been writing for decades with relatively poor results is that I've been slow, inconsistent, and have had to wrestle with my ADD self always to get any work done at all. The past three weeks have been my most intense creative period ever, and that includes NaNoWriMo, which I finished the first time I did it some years ago.

2) It feels fantastic. Working at this level is what I've always wanted to do and I feel more creatively satisfied than I ever have in my life. I'm more tired (and that's saying a lot, because I'm always tired), but less cranky. I'm a little less anxious and way less stressed. For thirty years, I've been wanting to make creative work my life and although I've always done the work, I've never done enough of it to feel like I'm at the level I want. But now I feel like I'm living the dream. I'm squeezing more than ever out of myself and I'm getting good work done consistently. I've arrived at the life I've always wanted.

Don't get me wrong, the ultimate teenage dream involved much more money and fans and no day job, but the day to day work and satisfaction is all there.

3) I need to ship on time.  In the world of manufacturing, shipping a new product on time means getting the thing designed, mass-produced and out the door on the day you say you're going to do it. I've known for many years that I work better with deadlines than without, so I started setting deadlines. I almost always missed them, but I worked harder knowing they were there.

I've known for less years than that that I'll work harder for someone else than I will for myself. For a couple of years I told other people my deadlines—my dear friends Emily and Diane—so I'd feel obligated to get the stuff done on time and not disappoint them. I'd still blow deadlines, but not as many.

With MuchoMangoMayo I've promised people I don't even know that I will ship on time. Every day in May, they will get a show, delivered at midnight. That is my promise. People donate more money to the show in May than in any other month because I'm delivering something special. I sure as hell don't want to disappoint them and so far I haven't.

So there's my lesson for future projects: tell people what you're doing and when it's going to ship and make sure that happens. There's creative power in time limits and I heard Ian Boothby talk about this just hours ago in the latest episode of the Sneaky Dragon podcast. When you've got to hustle to get something done for someone else, you'll deliver something that's less than perfect. The beauty is you won't have time to fret over imperfection because you'll have already moved onto the next thing. You'll never make one perfect thing, no matter how long you work and how much you stress. Say that to yourself a few thousand times while you're making many, many imperfect things and chilling.

4) The fountain's got to sit down. When you're kicking off into a creative life, you have a tendency to think that it's possible to run out of ideas. After a while you realize that's not true, but you don't really feel it in your gut yet. A few years ago, I began to feel it in my gut. I never worry about the ideas anymore. They always come even though I burn through a shitload of them with every project. But even though ideas flow from a never-ending fountain, that fountain needs occasional maintenance, some chlorine, a cleaning out of the spigots or whatever it is fountains have. Sometimes the fountain has to go sit down over there for a while.

I'd put in about nine or ten days straight when one day I had stuff to do. I did that stuff and then problems happened. I dealt with the problems and it was getting late in the day and I wasn't getting to work. This is normally the point where I wrestle myself into a foam of paralysis, guilt, and despair. This time I said to myself, "I think I accidentally gave myself the day off." I didn't freak. I relaxed and read and screwed around online. The next day I was back at it.

Normally when I take a vacation, I dread going back to work. I'm sure many of you do too. This time I didn't. As each day passed, I was working and I knew when I went back to the day job I'd still be working. Come Sunday I was a little bent out of shape that I wasn't going to have enough time to work on the show, but my destructive emotions just weren't hitting the highs that they normally do.

The alien thing was that when I went back to work, I was almost relieved. I was going to have an excuse not to think creatively for hours! I just slid in and did my job without a bit of frustration. That was weird. Normally I'm bubbling with ideas at work and I'm writing the best ones down, but it took me about four days before that started kicking in again. I'd worked my making-things-up muscle hard for a week and it needed to rest up a bit. Once it was rested, it started flexing again. This doesn't mean I stopped creating for a few days. It means I had many waking hours when I wasn't creating, couldn't create, and didn't have to create.

I had finally, for the first time in my life, sated this appetite within myself. It felt great. My bubbling demons were at peace for a while.

If you can do it, work your mind hard. Run a long distance race with it. It's wonderful.

Sunday, May 11, 2014

My Brand Of Failure

Happy Mother's Day to all you mommas! Here's a thing I wrote about my mother on Mother's Day 2009 in a nearly unreadable litany of terse sentences.

Well, last night fell apart so far as Mango plans went. After I finished my third script, I had to run to the store before it closed and mangoing never came back together. The Boy came home and I was sociable with people online and on the phone. It was a good night, don't get me wrong. If I've gotten some work done, I'll always want to connect with people rather than do more work.

I recorded those three shows a couple of hours ago and will start editing soon. I'll try to get to more script writing, but there are some chores I have to handle too.

Anyway, the title of the post is My Brand of Failure. As I was explaining to a close friend last night, I always set my goals higher than I think I can reach, and I nearly always fall short. Failure is always with me. It's been with me so long that I'm beginning to transcend failure. Any progress I make becomes victory. So my brand of failure, I think, is pretty good as failure goes.

Saturday, May 10, 2014

The Challenge

As I said, I wanted to have seven more shows in the can this weekend. As I also said I took yesterday off. Ideally, I'd like to finish seven partial scripts today (some of those are extremely partial), record them tomorrow while The Boy's at work, and spend the rest of tomorrow editing and scheduling them.

I'm just sitting down to work now, after hanging with my daughter, going to the comic book shop, grocery shopping, and making and eating lunch. It's almost half-past four. I don't think there's any way I can make this happen, but what fun is there in not giving it a shot?

Off I go!

Friday, May 09, 2014

Ummm . . .

I seem to have taken a day off today.

How It's Mangoing

I took this week off because I was super behind on Mangoes for MuchoMangoMayo. I knew going into this week I'd have to work on the show ten and a half hours a day to get the whole month done before it was time to go back to work. I also knew that I'd fail, because I know what I can and can't do. However, I always get a little more out of myself by setting my goals high.

Except for today I've been averaging about five hours of work a day. Today was very good. I got eight hours in. I've only got the weekend uploaded. By that I mean Friday (which just popped up), Saturday, and Sunday.

I've got three more scripts mostly done, partial stories for about two more. I have three more days before work. My guess is I'll get maybe seven more shows in the can. Then I'll do what I can around the job. I still have two more weekends as well.

If you're worried, don't worry. I'll get it done. I always get it done. I only won't get it done if something super bad happens to me and then it will be too late to worry. So don't worry.

You weren't worrying at all, were you? Do you even know what Beware the Hairy Mango is?