Thursday, August 26, 2010

Casino Royale On The Great Twitter Bond Read

I'm not sure why any of you would care, but I'm posting most of the tweets from The Great Twitter Bond Read here because Twitter can't be bothered to archive them for more than a few days. I say 'most' because I missed a few early ones, things from others I forgot to retweet, and also most of the tweets in which I asked others to join in. The tweets without attribution are from me, @upwithgravity.

The tweets in this post mostly concern Casino Royale. I'll be collecting the tweets book by book. @steveattwitter jumped forward many books to For Your Eyes Only. I'm collecting those tweets, but unless you're following the #bondread tag, you won't see those until I get to that book. Please join in and add your own tweets, either related to specific books or other Bondian stuff. Sorry about all the #bondread tags below. I'm not going to remove them all.

The Great Twitter Bond Read presents Casino Royale:

Join the Great Twitter Bond Read! Please RT! #bondread

First up, Casino Royale (CR for tweeting), 1953. Read it twice before. The film's quite faithful in some ways. #bondread

upwithgravity @fabiofernandes Yes, Craig's Bond is quite the thug, which I like. #bondread

#bondread RT @ChurchHTucker @upwithgravity Which CR is faithful? I'm guessing the last one.

upwithgravity @ChurchHTucker Good guess. The David Niven CR is rather less faithful. ; ) But the TV version before Dr. No was probably good. #bondread

1st challenge of the Great Twitter Bond Read: Prying CR from my Bond boxed set. It's really wedged in there! #bondread

RT @skellyrocker Do you ekshpect me to tweet? No Mr Bond I expect you to text! #bondread

CR c1 'The Secret Agent' Leave Fr. casino, up 3 mil. Le Chiffre's there. B's so bad-ass even his hair does hotel counter-espionage #bondread

#bondread RT@SylvioGoncalves JB Theme, por Monty Norman. Original Bond Band #grandestemasdefilmes

Read Bond. See the world. Read my tweets. In Bondian circle of life, he fills both wombs and graves. Death and Pussy Galore! #bondread

You can also follow @georgelazenby an actual Bond and very entertaining tweeter. #bondread

CR c2 'Dossier for M' Le Chiffre buys whorehouses w/ 50 mil in Soviet cash. Then whores outlawed. Oops! Break him B! Also - SMERSH #bondread

CR c3 'Number 007' Flashback. Head of S sells M on plan to out-gamble Le Chiffre. B has doubts. Do it anyway. M stands for Mutha? #bondread

#bondread RT @ChurchHTucker @upwithgravity Theres an S *and* an M? Kinky.

upwithgravity @ChurchHTucker If only there was an M and an M. Tasty. #bondread

CR c4 'L'Ennemi Écoute' B's blown (not in a good way)! Mathis shows, ruins commie eardrums & tells B his partner is - A WOMAN! No! #bondread

steveattwitter So JB is a 70/day smoker then. About to start ch5 of CR,The girl from HQ #bondread

upwithgravity @steveattwitter If he could die at any time, I understand 70 cigs a day, but how does he chase people? #bondread

steveattwitter @upwithgravity I guess that's why he needs 4.5 litre Bentley. #bondread

CR c5 'The Girl From Headquarters' History of Royale. You won't believe this - B digs Vesper! He reminds her of #bondread

Oops! Forgot to mention there's a big explosion at the end of chapter 5. Some of you may have felt that was important. #bondread

CR c6 'Two men In Straw Hats' The old bomb-in-the-camera-case trick! Saved by the tree. Mathis races off to find a roaming Bulgar. #bondread

CR c7 'Rouge Et Noir' Gettin' ready for the game. B does a little roulette. Wins a mil. Meets Felix Leiter. Gets his booze shaken. #bondread

steveattwitter CR page 50: first occurance ever of the classic line/spoken name "Bond - James Bond" #bondread

steveattwitter Then the Dry Martini on the next page. Curiously in a deep champaign goblet though rather than the martini glass of the films #bondread

CR c8 'Pink Lights And Champagne' Ready for action. Dinner w/ Vesper, smokin' in blk velvet. B explains his gastronomic philosophy #bondread

steveattwitter Avocado pears to follow the caviar and steak courses; very exotic for the post war rationed 1949 reader. #bondread

CR c9 'The Game Is Baccarat' The Bulgar bombers were double-crossed! B explains Baccarat. Vesper warms at dinner and B grows cold. #bondread

CR c10 'The High Table' B dumps Vesper on Felix. The big game is on! Greek gets it rolling & B makes his first attack on the bank. #bondread

CR c11 'Moment Of Truth' B comes on strong, then loses everything! Why don't you hand over our nuclear secrets while you're at it? #bondread

CR c12 'The Deadly Tube' CIA funds B & the game continues. B gets a poke in the ass with a cane-gun. A chair back-flip saves him. #bondread

CR c13 'A Whisper Of Love, A Whisper of Hate' B cleans out Le Chiffre at Baccarat. Champagne! B focuses on Vesper, hides winnings. #bondread

CR c14 'La Vie En Rose?' Breakfast w/ Vesper, who's now cold. V's called away by a message from Mathis. Sham! And she's kidnapped! #bondread

steveattwitter CR Ch 15: "With the choke full out, the engine answered at once to the starter..." definitely not a Ford or a Vauxhall then. #bondread

CR c15 'Black Hare And Grey Hound' B gives chase by car & curses V who is tied by her own dress. Le Chiffre lays a trap and waits. #bondread

CR c16 'The Crawling Of The Skin' B hits trap and crashes! Captured by Le Chiffre, taken to his villa. B fights, gets beaten down. #bondread

steveattwitter CR ch 16: apparently in 1953 ju-jitsu was the only form of foreign marshal art known to the british secret service, very exotic .#bondread

steveattwitter Which would be the least comfortable? 1953 rubber coated flex or modern pvc flex. #bondread

steveattwitter CR ch 17: are Bond's enemies all electricians on their day jobs? They seem to have copious amounts of electrical flex #bondread

steveattwitter Umm... Looks like electrical flex is going to be the least of Bond's worries if this goes down the way its looking #bondread

CR c17 'My Dear Boy' L tortures B. Serious ball-beating. As a kid, thought he beat B's ass. Guess I couldn't bear the alternative. #bondread

discorobot @upwithgravity It's impossible to compose a tweet that sounds like the Bond theme. So just imagine that I did. #bondread

upwithgravity Oops! Meant to put #bondread on the end of that! RT @upwithgravity @discorobot Ba-da Da-DAH Ba-dahdah!

discorobot @upwithgravity Gold-FINGGGGAAAA #bondread

CR c18 'A Crag-Like Face' SMERSH agent puts bullet in Le Chiffre's head just before L can cut off B's dingle! Then marks B's hand. #bondread

CR c19 'The White Tent' B sleeps 2 days, wakes in French care. Mathis gives him the low down. Good guys happy, bad guys not happy. #bondread

CR c20 'The Nature Of Evil' B decides to quit, defends Evil. Mathis mocks him & says B will protect his loved ones when necessary. #bondread

#bondread RT @atfmb This is cool- Didn't know that DC Comics had an option to a James Bond Comic:

CR c21 'Vesper' B asks to see V. Hopes he can still get it up. V tells of her kidnapping. He forgives her and she makes a promise. #bondread

CR c22 'The Hastening Saloon' B's falling for Vesper. Back on his feet, they find a little place in the country. She acts anxious. #bondread

CR c23 'Tide of Passion' No gentle lover, B. 18 chapters of frustration & V puts him off. He swims, gets naked, makes his mind up. #bondread

#bondread My favorite bit of chapter 23? " . . . the shadows had already engulfed his distant pyjamas . . ."

steveattwitter CR ch 23: Bond's covalescing by the sea with Vesper, doctor say's he's well now; what could possibly go wrong? #bondread

CR c24 'Fruit Défendu' B and V have wonderful dinner. V slips now and again into strange dark behavior. B wants to propose to her. #bondread

#bondread Damn. I didn't mention that Bond and Vesper finally got it on in chapter 24, hence the title. Why do I forget the best stuff?

CR c25 'Black-Patch' V makes mysterious phone call. Things turn sour, bickering begins. V is terrified of a man with an eye-patch. #bondread

CR c26 'Sleep Well, My Darling' V's up to more mysterious stuff. She gets scared, gets happy, gets miserable. Has B set her right? #bondread

#bondread Tomorrow is the last chapter of Casino Royale. Finish it tonight, because I spoil the shit out of this book!

#bondread About to wrap up Casino Royale for The Great Twitter Bond Read. Brace yourselves!


CR c27 'The Bleeding Heart' V suicides! She was a double-agent. She loved B. B doesn't love her anymore. B declares war on SMERSH. #bondread

#bondread SPOILER! #bondread

steveattwitter Casino Royale done: On last 2 pages Flemming smashes you over the head with the blunt instrument that drives Bond thru the sequels #bondread

#bondread Overall, CR's a good book, even 3rd time around. Loved the Baccarat showdown and the ending. Love that B's not superhuman. Read it

#bondread Tomorrow we begin (or at least I begin) Live And Let Die.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Free Major Karnage E-Book!


Hurry over to here: Like Wowio on Facebook and get a free e-book edition of Gord Zajac's ass-kicking Major Karnage! I posted about this a few months back and I'm reposting the vid here to remind you how crazy awesome it is:

Friday, August 20, 2010

I'm Irregular! (Please Pass The Bran Muffins)

Welcome to new followers BlueSquidProductions and Simon H! What were you thinking?

Today I was inducted into the hallowed halls of the SF Signal Irregulars! SF Signal is one of the absolute best blogs out there and they went and gave me keys to the washroom. Little did they know that I consider flushing optional. If you're not familiar with SF Signal, go check it out. It releases piles of awesome science fiction news, reviews, videos, links and other stuff every single day. I'll be repodcasting episodes of Beware the Hairy Mango there and, if the mood strikes me, posting other science fiction related stuff. You'll also get to hear my sultry voice tossing out bon mots on future eps of the funky fresh SF Signal podcast. Cool-a-mundo!

In writing goal news (52 in 2010), I have to finish 45 stories in 133 days! That's flippin' crazy! I'm reworking what's realistic and what's not in preparing for the final third of the year. Many of the remaining stories will probably be shorter than originally planned. I'm pushing some of the ones that need too much work into my 104 in 2011 file. (That's right!) I've got 27 stories in various states of completion, so I need to whip up 18 more between now and Dec. 31st. Head down. Push on.

Off to do #bondread!

Friday, August 13, 2010

Beautiful Stories for Ugly Children

Welcome to new follower Keith! He's a Mangophile! My second favorite kind of phile!

Just want to get this out before I die, because it's already been twenty years: Go find copies of Dave Louapre's and Dan Sweetman's brilliant thirty issue run of Beautiful Stories for Ugly Children, one of a slew of groundbreaking comic titles born of the 1980s. The titles alone should make you smile and if not, check out the cover gallery. The above pic is the cover of issue #1 (but you probably figured that out because you're clever), entitled A Cotton Candy Autopsy in which a group of clowns go on a drunken crime spree. I so wish I still had my collection.