We Were Our Underwear

WE WERE OUR UNDERWEAR
By Matthew Sanborn Smith

The AIs did have a sense of humor. And they did get tired of our ranting. They unleashed a virus upon the world that turned each of us into the underwear which we wore most often. That put us in our place.

There were so many of us who had been poor and even some of us not so poor in our former human lives, who were now stained and hole-riddled briefs. Tighty-Not-So-Whiteys. Athletic cups mingled with boxers, granny panties did business with thongs. Honestly, social classes arose that were not so different from those we left behind. Our underwear had always reflected our subconscious status, our income and our personalities anyway. There was just a lot more embarrassment in the world this way.

And all those people who never wore underwear? Had we known back in our primate days of those promiscuous free-wheelers, we might have cozied up to them a bit more and had a good time. But it was too late now. They had all just disappeared.