My Woman Done Left Me

My wife, daughter and my daughter's dog are now living in another house, leaving me, my son and my son's dog in this one. No divorce, no separation, just one family living in two different houses.

Today was a good day. Still on hernia leave, I spent the day at my wife's place, waiting for the DirecTV guy while she was at work. I had many hours away from the enormously distracting internet and away from my needy dogs. I had hours to write and came up with one shade of an idea, one piece of flash-fiction and one two-thousand word story. It’s amazing what you can do when there’s nothing else to do. I really need to get away from reality more often. So, anyway stories sixty-four (The Ones That Got Away) and sixty-five (Dust Dog) are in the bag, though they haven’t yet been sent out. But will be by this time tomorrow.

Clarke And 62 And Noodles

Arthur C. Clarke died yesterday. He was a great man and a great writer, the only golden age science fiction writer whose work from the thirties and forties still holds up today. We need more people like him in the world.

Story 62 is off to the races. It's called Salting the Earth Around Me.

I've made big improvements since my hernia operation two weeks ago today. I can tell because I'm back on my normal diet of Ramen noodles and Mountain Dew. I usually drain off the broth and just eat the noodles after they’ve cooled a bit, but now I’m thinking of boiling my Ramen noodles in Mountain Dew. Save a step, you see?. The chicken flavoring might not go down well with that, but I could leave that out. I might leave the broth in as well, in that case.

Lying Around

Well, I had my deherniation yesterday. This latest was a left inguinal hernia (that’s the crotchal area for those of you who can’t be bothered to look it up.) I had the right side done six years ago and I’ve been saving up ever since for a matching set. I haven’t taken anything more potent than Tylenol, as my prescribed meds made me nauseous last go around. I prefer pain to puke. All in all, I’d say this one has gone better. I thought it would be worse because I really had to be opened up this time around as opposed to the laparoscopic dealie before.

Anywho, it’s my back that’s really hurting me now as I have to move, stand and walk differently to favor my front. I can’t even piss properly, standing or sitting because the back pain is agonizing. I’m pissing into a paper cup while lying on my side in bed and then bringing it to the bathroom. Because I’m not psychologically prepared to shit into a paper cup, I have eaten next to nothing since the surgery hoping to put the poo off until I’m in better shape. I think, considering addiction number one (food) on my list of a couple of posts back, that should give you an idea of how painful it is.

I can only improve from here. I spend most of my time in bed with an icepack next to my goodies. I expect to be out of commission for three or four weeks, but I’ll have a better idea when I see my doctor on the thirteenth.

Tip Me Over And Pour Me Out

A group of people in baggy mint green are going to pop me open in a few hours. Once my innards are exposed to the cold air they will insert a small piece of mesh in my nether regions and then reassemble me. I will inch ever so closer to my ultimate cyborg form.